I am a mom of one.
I have a beautiful daughter who is my biggest blessing.
Our family of three feels complete.
We may be small, but the bond we share is something truly special.
We are happy just us three.
Reasons to Be One and Done
There are many reasons people choose to have only one child.
Some are financial, others are based on lifestyle, and for some, the journey to have another child has been difficult. There are also those who feel they are older and don’t want to take the risk, or women who have medical concerns that influence their decision.
In my case, I always imagined having two or three children when I was younger. However, after having our daughter, living far from family, and juggling work and parenting, we realized how challenging it was.
I became pregnant at 34 after many years of trying. During the pregnancy, we were told there was a high risk of miscarriage, which left me terrified; becoming a mother had always been my greatest dream.
My husband and I hoped to try again, but we faced multiple unsuccessful attempts and eventually experienced a miscarriage. After that, we decided to set a timeline: if I wasn’t pregnant by the age of 39, we would accept that our family was complete.
When my 39th birthday arrived after more attempts, we finally felt at peace with our decision.
Guilt of Having Only One Child
Are you a mom of one like me who has decided to be one and done? I imagine that decision may surprise family and friends.
It can also bring up a lot of questions, at least, it did for me:
- Am I being selfish for not wanting more?
- Is my daughter going to feel alone in life?
- Will I regret my decision?
- Will my daughter resent me for not giving her a sibling?
I think many parents wrestle with these same thoughts. It’s not an easy decision. I remember people often telling me how important it was to give my daughter a sibling so she wouldn’t be alone and would have a “forever friend.”
Sometimes, it still hurts, especially when my daughter asks for a sister and wonders why she can’t have one. In those moments, I feel sad and even question myself as a parent.
But then I remind myself that I did try to give her a sibling, and it simply wasn’t possible for us physically.
The beautiful part is that she now has two cousins that live in our same neighborhood that she lovingly calls her sisters. I remind her that cousins can share a special bond too; one rooted in love, family, and connection.
Reasons Being Mom of One is Enough
I love big families and deeply respect those who choose to have more than one child; my sister, for example, has four. But having only one child is a blessing too, for many reasons.
Let’s name a few:
- More bonding time with your child (truly priceless)
- More financial flexibility for experiences, travel, and opportunities
- Easier to manage daily responsibilities as a parent
- Traveling is simpler and less stressful
- Less parental burnout and more balance
- Stronger communication between parent and child
- Easier to plan outings, school activities, and routines
- More opportunities to invest in your child’s interests and passions
Choosing to be one and done doesn’t mean something is missing, it means we’ve defined what “enough” looks like for our family. Our home is filled with love, laughter, and connection, and that is what truly matters. Every family is different, and this is what works beautifully for ours.
Final Thoughts
If your family chooses to be one and done, that is perfectly okay. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your personal decisions. What truly matters is feeling at peace with your choice. A family of three can be full, joyful, and complete in its own unique way.
Best wishes,
Mel
